Texas Sate School Board
Dear Mrs. Leo,
It looks like your hard work fighting heretical scientists is finally achieving results. According to a recent poll, 30 percent of all Texans now believe that people coexisted with dinosaurs. But as good as thirty percent is, it's not a hundred percent--there is much more you can do. It's time to take another look at your biology curriculum to see if it's providing the faith-based instruction our children need.
From what I understand, the curriculum fails to even mention the most important evidence confirming human-dinosaur relations. The Bedrock Drawings are a series of pictures that when stitched together in the correct order offer an animated look at a stone-age family and its dinosaur pets and dinosaur-powered appliances and communications and lawn-care equipment.
But it's what's not there, that makes the Bedrock Drawings especially useful for education purposes. Stone-age people did not have sex. Heck, the guys didn't even have thingies. Masturbation was unknown. What a world it must have been.
Sure, the lack of an outlet made Mr. Slate angry, but that's a small price to pay if it means ending bad touching.
Heterosexually yours in a chaste, biblical, and unitless kind of way,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
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